So... February... 6 months ago. I was getting ready to marry my best friend and still had plenty to do...
4 months later?
I woke up at 7 on the morning of the wedding and sat chatting with my sister and bestie. The hairdresser turned up half an hour early and started with me so I never got any pictures of my hair being done :( My other bridesmaid arrived around ten o clock and then my mum a half hour later. She did my head in from the word go, waking my niece up whilst she was napping (making her really mardy for the rest of the day) and she couldn't work out how to do my necklace up and really irritated me. My photographers had arrived by this time and I had to get one of them to do it! After that things ran smoothly with both my makeup artist and car turning up on time. The nerves still didn't hit me till I was in the car and then all I thought was "this is really happening" and my tummy turned to butterflies. The driver was amazing though and she really put me at ease. We also had a laugh as her sat nav sent us down a dead end and I had to direct her to the registry office! I went in for my meeting and the nerves really hit then. I walked down the aisle with a big smile and married my husband (Eeeeek I love that) We then went into the garden for some photos but the photographer was really disappointed. So we stopped at a nature reserve on the way back and managed to get a few there. When we got to the reception venue we did an informal greeting line and got a few pics with the car. Then things went wrong and the food was ready an hour earlier than planned meaning the running order of the day was thrown completely off. Then when we sat down to eat people took it upon themselves to change my seating plan meaning the best man was sat on his own most of the time! The food was lovely and Nath burst into tears during his speech which made it really touching. We did the group shots after food whilst the room was being turned around which turned out for the best. The evening do was amazing. Most of our residents turned up and everyone enjoyed themselves even though there wasn't a lot of dancing. I had taken a lot of tips from people on UKBride into account and cherished the day and loved it.
So the honeymoon was amazing too. But since being back I have had stress upon stress. The wedding has made me think about my life and what I really want to do with it. My care job is wearing me down and also causing me injury. I have been off for the last three weeks with a spasmed back muscle. And I have been using that time to work my life out. I finally made a move towards becoming a midwife by applying for an access to uni course. However the course is looking like it's full and I may have to wait a year before I can start to move ahead with my life. To top it all off, My full time contract ends in November rather than February so I will be practically jobless and stressed about money issues. AGAIN! Looking forward to a taster course in June (if I get accepted on) but that's about it.
I have tried to take control of my life though and, as you can tell from the beginning of the blog, have rejoined Weight Watchers. I want to be fit and healthy by Christmas and also for my future (hoping for a mini D at some point!). But I'm starting to struggle with these problems. And I don't want to be fat on top of everything else!! I know, I know! I should be grateful with my life. MIL is always telling me that I have married my best friend and I have a wonderful house, but is this really the basis I want for my life? I'm not happy at my job and haven't been for a long time. Do I not deserve to be happy? Do I not have the right to better my life? I want to afford to take days out just for the hell of it! I want to just jump on a plane to a far off country for a weekend and not worry about if I can actually afford it. And, most of all, I don't want to be a piece of shit on some bigwig's shoe!!
Anyway, now I've ranted... here's the good bit again: a few shots from the wedding!
N xx
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