So, the bad luck? Seems to have disappeared this morning. I was woken by the sound of the letterbox going, and upon inspection from the top of the stairs I could see the usual gumph from the local stores, telling me of their special offers. YAY(!)
Until I went down for it. And hidden amongst the gumph, were two VERY good letters. One from HMRC enclosing £441.08 tax rebate! Thank you VERY much!
The other? A letter from Boston College. Asking me to attend one of their late enrolment sessions. AND the course I want to do has spaces!
Cue a mixture of emotions! Excitement. Check. Happiness? Check. Pure fear? Check, and double check!
The thing is, this course is EXTREMELY important. But leads to some very scary thoughts. What if I fail? What if I can't afford the course? What if I can't get enough hours to afford the bills? What if I fail?
I know they're all what if's and only I hold the key to not making them really happen. But they are very scary what if's. What if's that shape my present and my future... I don't want to be a massive failure who loses the marital home mere months after said marriage. I'm scared of the pressures this is going to put on said marriage, although I know Mr D will support me no matter what. I'm scared of the hours I'm going to have to put in at work to prevent financial worries. And I'm scared those hours won't be there....
So I am sitting here, and have another week and a half before I may be able to put some of those fears to bed... I just hope this will all be worthwhile and I just need to remember that this is for the future.
N xx
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